I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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