the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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