someone owes me an orgasm
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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