Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
