Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
