i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
