what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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