i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
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Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
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