captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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