didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
