Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live