Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
zippers are such a cool invention
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.