I could have mohawked her pubes.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
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You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening