Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
