Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
