I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Porn is love you can see.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
