Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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