I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
