It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
