Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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