he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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