i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
