I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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