I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So squirting runs in the family.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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