nut hugger
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
