Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
