OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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