ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just had sex bonerless
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
