Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
