Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
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Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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