I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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