people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
