Non-Jews are for practice
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
