i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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