How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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