things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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