1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
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Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
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Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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