I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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