i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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