My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
how does that bad decision feel?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize