why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Green mimosas i think yes
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
