Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I looked at my own cervix.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I want a musical about memes.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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