Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
