1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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