I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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