I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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