my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
