I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
