I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
