i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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