Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
