Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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