I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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