i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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