How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
