we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Mom said you looked used
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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