some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
