I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
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You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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