NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
