I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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