Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
