Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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